Monday, April 23, 2012

How to deal with disrespecting, fake or bullying Friends.

Do you have or had a best friend that crossed your line way too often? Or makes you feel uncomfortable, about yourself or in general? I have had.
I think everyone has or have been in that situation  once or twice or more. And that is the reason that I decided to write this, to share how I deal with it. Now I have had a ton a rubbish friends, that used me because I was way too nice or were just very mean or made me feel insecure about myself. And a lot of other similar things. Anyways I’m not here to talk about what people did to me I’m here to share how I dealt with those situations.

So first of all it’s important to look very honest to your friendship and the whole situation in general. Ask yourself did I do something that made my friend feel uncomfortable? And how did this happen? Accept your own mistakes. But also be honest to yourself if you didn’t do anything to upset your friend,  don’t blame yourself for something that’s not your fault!
Self-reflection is very important part in this. I have learned through the years that I’m the kind of person that really takes care of people. I’m the kind of person who first thinks about someone else instead of myself. This is however not a very good quality, a lot of people will take advantage of it. I use to think that that was my own fault when I had a rubbish friend, but obviously it’s not.
So really get to know yourself in friendships, be honest and ask other people [like your mom, dad, sister or brother] what they think about how you treat your friends.
[ Okay don’t just accept every ones opinion because that can drive you crazy. Only from people you trust and are close to you.]

Friendship to me is being there for someone but also having a shoulder to cry on. Not gossiping about each other. Don’t try to change each other, friendship is all about being yourself. And be trustworthy.  

But people change over time, especially around puberty. So maybe your friend was at first a true friend but now she or he isn’t anymore. This is a moment you really have to stay true to yourself. It’s okay if they now and then cross your line by accident, nobody is perfect.
But it isn’t okay anymore if your friend constantly crosses your line. Same goes for friends who say mean and disrespecting things to you  all the time. It’s very important to listen to your feelings.

 And let your friend know that you don’t like how he or she is behaving towards  you. If they don’t respond than be really honest to yourself.
This part can be hard, deciding if you want to stay friends or not. Sometimes you won’t have the time to really think about your decision because some people go from 1 to 10, extreme fast.
My honest opinion is to always choose for yourself. I rather have no best friend [or friends at all] than that I have a [best] friend[s] who disrespects me, is fake or even bullies me.  
Don’t like being mistreated, don’t hang around with people who do. They will set an example for others and you don’t want that!
Way to scared to be alone? Weel obviously you’re not alone, I’m here and there are a bizilion other people on this planet who probably can’t wait to be your friend!

This was my sharing this situation with you.
To be honest it was quite hard to write, in my head it all sounded a lot better and the writing a lot easier. I’m not really a person who likes to share these kind of things but I did it anyway and I hope you respect that. I have a lot more opinions on this subject than just what I wrote above but I feel like keeping it to myself for now. However if you do have a question or something feel free to share it. How more you share how more I will share.

I hope this helped,
xXx Julia

1 comment:

  1. this is a wonderful post i agree with you friendship is about being there for that person :)